29 August 2008

Ross Tucker writes about player's and brings about the downfall of Western civilization

Ross Tucker played for five teams in his seven-year NFL career. He has joined SI.com as a regular contributor on the NFL beat.

Ross Tucker doesn't know how to pluralize the word "player."

In this article, Tucker begins by claiming that "The reality of the game is player's play -- and play well -- through injuries all the time." While I don't disagree with the columnist's sentiment - Tucker, after all, has a good bit more football experience than I do - I cannot help but disagree with his apostrophe usage.

Later in the article, making the argument that Kurt Warner should start for the Cardinals, Tucker says that "Though they [the Cardinals players] would deal with Leinart being the starter, Whisenhunt risks losing the locker room if it is plainly clear to the player's that they have a better chance to win with Warner under center." Again, I agree with the sentiment - the Arizona players (understandably) want to win - but, again, I disagree with the unnecessary apostrophe.

If I may digress for a moment: improper apostrophe usage is one of the greatest threats to modern society. There are, of course, assaults on sensibility in comparison to which Mr. Tucker's two errors seem piffling and inconsequential. As the great Rudy Giuliani made the police take action on minor graffiti in New York, though, we must let no small thing slide - for the acceptance of imperfection in even the smallest detail can lead, if we are not vigilant, to greater and greater cracks in the facade of civilization and, eventually, to the collapse of the whole structure.

So, Mr. Tucker! Though you committed only two simple errors, I name you a threat - and sentence you to read and re-read the MLA Handbook until you commit no more such offenses.

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