So it's been an eventful couple of weeks: I wrote essays, ate food, slept, and played sports. Sports like football and basketball.
And it's going to be a more eventful couple of weeks. You know why? MY SENIOR RESEARCH PROJECT IS DUE!!! 30 PAGES OF INTENSE GENIUS!!! AHHH!!! AHHH!!! Seriously, though, things are going to be busy. Like, more busy than they already are.
Picks! Brought to you today by Lobster Cola... because I'm feeling goofy, and I still remember MVP Baseball 2001.
Florida -23 against Kentucky
I don't know why - I've been writing about labor supply theory all morning.
Also, it's Kentucky. Against Florida. It's Kentucky. Against a team that beat LSU by 30 points.
Prediction: Florida 51, Kentucky 21
Vanderbilt -10 against Duke
Because, even though Duke is better than they used to be, they're still Duke... wait... I could say the same thing about Vanderbilt. LOGIC?! WE DON'T NEED YOUR STINKIN' LOGIC!! One academic school beats another academic school.
Prediction: Vanderbilt sqrt(361), Duke 3!
LSU -2.5 against Georgia
How many times have I said that I don't trust Matt Stafford? (Answer: several.) How many times has he proved me right? (Answer: less than several.) How many times will I keep saying it? (Answer: at least twice more.) I don't trust Matt Stafford, particularly against a very solid LSU defense.
Prediction: Bayou Bengals 30, Carchasers 26
Ole Miss +4 against Arkansas
'ware the Rebels! Or something. Irrelevance, thy name is THE ENTIRE STATE OF MISSISSIPPI. And also THE ENTIRE STATE OF ARKANSAS. You see what I did there?
Prediction: Ole Miss 19, Arkansas 17. Lusitania!
Mississippi State -11.5 against Middle Tennessee State
(insert generic prediction here to cover up the fact that I don't really care about either team)
Prediction: Carchasers part deux 26, Nom de Duke Ripoffs 14
Alabama -5.5 against Tennessee
Two good defenses, one good offense. I'll let you guess which offense I think is good, but here's a hint: it isn't the team whose fans sing Rocky Top over and over.
Prediction: Alabama 9th prime, Tennessee 6th prime
Ohio State +2.5 against Penn State
Terrelle Pryor is a big, fast dude. Really, that's the entire basis for this pick. I'm pretty sure that Penn State is otherwise superior on both sides of the ball, but Pryor is going to make up for the Buckeyes' shortcomings.
Prediction: Poisonous Fruit 31, Overly Localized Felines 27