29 November 2008

NCAA Football Picks - 11.29.2008

In the throes of the tryptophan-induced stupor that embraced me after Thanksgiving, I forgot to consider one very significant issue. I haven't yet figured out what that issue was, but I'm quite certain that there was one - because there's no substitute for a clear head, and a mind wandering within a turkey-induced haze isn't clear. Or something.


On to the picks!

Georgia Tech +9 against Georgia
I'm making a couple of key assumptions here. First: that the Yellow Jackets' triple-option attack can control the ball well enough to avoid letting the Bulldogs run up a big lead. Second: that an asteroid isn't going to hit Earth and cause a catastrophic mass extinction and a cancellation of the game.
Prediction: Georgia 27, Georgia Tech 19

South Carolina +1 against Clemson
Because Steve Spurrier wears a visor, the Gamecocks will win. Don't follow my logic? Check this out: it's a beautiful day at Clemson. And you know what comes with beautiful days? That's right: sun. And where there's sun, there's sun in people's eyes. Sun in the Clemson coaching staff's eyes. You follow? Yeah, that's right.
Prediction: South Carolina 19, Clemson 16

Florida State +15 against Florida
Yes, I'm picking against the Gators. Why? Because every time I pick against UF, they win in a blowout. Why? I don't know - perhaps they read my blog and get motivated by the criticism. Why? That's getting kind of annoying, dude. Why? I SAID GET OUT OF MY FACE! GET OUT OF MY FACE RIGHT NOW!
Prediction: Florida 34, Florida State 32

Alabama -14.5 against Auburn
Bird in waterfall. Drowning tiger. Auburn trying to play against the Crimson Tide. Unpleasantries. Etcetera. Etcetera. Etcetera.
Prediction: Alabama 30, Auburn 12

Tennessee -5 against Kentucky
Volunteers versus Wildcats. Rednecks with guns versus cats. Sound like a mismatch to you? The only way that Kentucky has a chance is if the rednecks try to clean their guns while they're plastered on moonshine - in otherwords, if the Vols commit a bunch of turnovers. I don't see that happening.
Prediction: Tennessee 33, Kentucky 24

Last Week: 1-4
Season: 39-46
All Time: 84-80-1

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