So I was reading SportsIllustrated.com this morning and I came across the following headline:
"Thoughts on the Eagles' new game plan and a pair of all-world safties"
My first thought: what are safties? They sound like adult diapers - (cue inspirational music) have you reached That Age? Are you s**tting your pants on a regular basis? Get Safties, and admit that you're old. ADMIT IT, YOU OCTOGENARIAN LITTLE &@#$! YOU'RE OLD!!! AND YOU SMELL FUNNY!!! AND NOT HA-HA FUNNY, EITHER!!!
My second thought: oh. He meant to say safeties.