27 April 2010

Quotes, quotes, everywhere...

From the closing paragraphs of this TMQ column:

I pound the table about minor government officials who are surrounded by security details not for any real need, but to make the minor officials feel important. Jay Olman of Philadelphia proposes that such persons be called "insecurity guards." And Mike Germano of Richmond, Vt., notes I referred to "Ellis Hobbes" of the Eagles, when Hobbs is correct. Most likely, he noted, the cornerback is no relation to the author of "Leviathan." TMQ supposes that if Thomas Hobbes were around today, he would call NFL players "nasty, brutish and tall."

...always gotta love a good Thomas Hobbes joke.

In other news, my class spent three hours this afternoon close reading a part of a book. We discussed (or, rather, the professor discussed and we nodded and took notes) such things as the protagonist's ridiculously long and angsty speeches, the supporting characters' ridiculously long and angsty speeches, the protagonist's ridiculously long and angsty dreams, and, for one extended period, an unnamed fellow professor who might or might not (we weren't quite sure) have at some point in the distant past have offered to buy our professor's wife a drink.

Thrilling stuff, I know.

An excerpt from a Woody Allen speech, courtesy of CEJ:

The trouble is, our leaders have not adequately prepared us for a mechanized society. Unfortunately our politicians are either incompetent or corrupt. Sometimes both on the same day. The Government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under five-seven, it is impossible to get your Congressman on the phone. I am not denying that democracy is still the finest form of government. In a democracy at least, civil liberties are upheld. No citizen can be wantonly tortured, imprisoned, or made to sit through certain Broadway shows.

And yet this is a far cry from what goes on in the Soviet Union. Under their form of totalitarianism, a person merely caught whistling is sentenced to thirty years in a labor camp. If, after fifteen years, he still will not stop whistling, they shoot him.

Along with this brutal fascism we find its handmaiden, terrorism. At no other time in history has man been so afraid to cut into his veal chop for fear that it will explode. Violence breeds more violence and it is predicted that by 1990 kidnapping will be the dominant mode of social interaction.

You know, I sometimes get so caught up in his contemporary weirdness that I forget how legitimately funny he used to be.

I should get to my reading nowish. All y'all have a great night!

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