19 April 2012

List: 5 famous military quotes I say to my students

"Come and take them."
...your portfolios, I mean, that've been sitting in my office for the last quarter. Because if you don't, I'm going to throw them away, right after I figure out which of the pretty folders I want to keep for my own use. Yeah. You know that Zefron folder that I keep my yet-to-be-finished exam readings in? The one with the glitter? You really think I paid money for that?

"You might as well appeal against the thunderstorm."
...I mean, having lived in Georgia, I'm loathe to quote Sherman, but, seriously, take a look. I've got all your grades documented, all your attendance issues written down, all the emails I've sent you collected into this one folder right here. If we're wanting to stick with this metaphor, your grade complaint has no chance against this thunderstorm of meticulous documentation and righteous knowledge.

...I, uh, seem to have forgotten my Powerpoint, and all my notes, and the book we were supposed to read for today. Prepare to be taught how to outline! Or lectured at on Foucault! Or something.

"Dig it out for yourselves."
...yes, I know this reading is hard. But when the assignment prompt calls for you to do a close reading of a passage from this text, and we've already modeled it in class using the "I do" and "we do" portions of the "I do, we do, you do" process, you really shouldn't expect me to actually do the work for you. At some point, you've got to actually do your own work. Yes, you can come to my office hours and talk about it. I'm happy to help.

"It is easier for the mediocre intelligence to become an authority on buttons than on tactics."
...sure, sure, your grammar is perfect. But your argument is, quite literally, a series of examples with no visible through-line, you've got no introduction and no conclusion, and you haven't referenced any of the texts that we talked about in class. Remember that grammar is only a small part of one of the four course outcomes. Yes, I know that your grammar is perfect. But fixing the formatting of every essay doesn't demonstrate that you have flexible tactics for revising and editing - it shows that you have one tactic for proofreading. Please try again.

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